I Did It

I actually taught relief society yesterday.
It was hard for me.
I had to leave Sunday school multiple times because I was so nervous I had to go to the bathroom over and over again. Then, when Sunday school was over, I started crying. I went to the bathroom to gain my composure but it didn't work very well. I sat down in Relief Society and my friend Melissa said something like "you ready?" and I burst into tears. I went back into the restroom and threw up. Then I was crying in the hall, well, not just crying, sobbing. My friend Wendy came out and asked if I was OK. I shook my head no and she said "Is there anything I can do for you?" and I said "Yeah, you could teach Relief Society." She is so sweet. She paused, then said "I haven't even read the lesson!" What a good friend to even consider doing that for me. She obviously could see that I was panicking.
So, I got a drink to help me stop crying, and went back into Relief Society. When it was time to give the lesson, I was still crying. I stood up and told everyone I was crying because I am terrified to teach and that I hope I would stop crying. I couldn't read the lesson because of all the tears. It was so embarrassing. It took me a few minutes to stop, but eventually I did stop crying and got on with the lesson. The Atonement isn't the easiest lesson to give, but all in all I think I did an okay job...minus the anxiety and crying that is. I forgot to fill half of my chart on the board, I answered questions the class was supposed to answer and I dropped the book because I was shaking so bad. I wrote out everything I wanted to say, but when someone did make a comment it threw me off and I didn't know exactly how to proceed. Also, Randy and I couldn't get the video I had planned on showing at the end of the lesson to work.
BUT, my stories I brought were perfect for the lesson, my object lesson worked out really well, and I ended on time. I did it. I don't want to do it ever again...but I did it.