Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Ninja Babies

I have an inkling and I believe it must be true. I believe that while adults are sound asleep in their comfy warm beds at night, softy snoring, their babies are attending extensive ninja training classes. Now, I don't know for sure since there is little proof of this, but here is what I have deduced from my careful observations.
These members of Japanese society of mercenary agents who are highly trained in martial arts and stealth, specialize in sabotage. From about one years old, babies seemingly change overnight. their covert mission is to sabotage a (mostly) clean, managed house and turn it to chaos, untidiness, and to strike fear in every parent. I have reason to believe that the first course in baby ninja training is pulling books off of shelves while nobody is looking, the next class has is how to wet your fingers and stick them in electrical sockets. This will probably earn ninja babies a yellow belt. Pushing as many buttons as possible in one day will qualify your baby for a blue belt.
For the more gifted ninjas, they must learn special "toilet" training for weeks where they learn how to unroll toilet paper and leave it strewn about the house. This will surely earn your gifted one a brown belt. For some ninja babies, this is as far as they train. I, however am lucky enough to have an extremely skilled ninja on my hands. She has learned not only those things, but also has aspired to the ever troublesome skill of carefully emptying the garbage can if the pantry door is accidentally left open . She has even graduated from simply emptying the trash to sampling the contents as well. The last bit of ninja training she has obviously passed is slipping a bookmark out of a mother's book while mother is otherwise occupied. This in and of itself is a terrible travesty in my home as it is one of my biggest pet peeves. In order to master the ninja skills necessary for this task, I am very sure that babies must first certify in the "look up at mommy with innocent eyes and maybe even give a shy snaggle toothed grin" look. This look is absolutely essential if the ninja baby wants to make it to the ripe age of two.
Fortunately for my ninja baby, she has mastered this ninja task with flying colors After all, who can fault a sweet faced girl who pleads innocence and naivety? Not me, that's for sure. So, this bodes the question: should I feel proud my daughter is a novice ninja? or should I lament the skills she has acquired because it means she is not much of a baby anymore? all my ninja baby suspicions aside, I am proud to have my very own highly skilled black belt ninja baby.

This video was taken of a ninja novice much younger than Lily, Do you believe the conspiracy yet?


Ali said...

That is so funny. And happy Anniversary too. I hope you guys at least will do something fun this weekend.

Nessa said...

Great video! Oh, and I totally feel your pain...I have five ninjas in the house! (Six if I include the dog!)

dave, catie, and baby "b" said...

the toilet paper.
that one really gets me.