Well, I guess I'm only 5 days past my "due date" today, but it sure feels a lot longer than that. It is my fault that it feels that way. I suppose because the baby was always measuring 2 weeks ahead of her due date and the fact that my midwife told me she wouldn't let me go past the 8th of February before she would induce me, caused me to think her birthday would be well before the 20th of February! obviously this is not the case.
In this day and age of scheduled babies, people seem to think it is really strange that I have actually put off being induced to this point. But, I'm still a firm believer that babies come when they are ready and that trying to make them come earlier than they are ready can cause a negative chain reaction for you and the baby. I understand that she may be very large at this point and that it could cause some special circumstances come delivery time, but I also feel very strongly that she is the right size for me and my body. I have always gone into labor on my own, so I'm not worried that it won't happen. That being said, I have a tentative appointment for induction on Wednesday. My midwife told me that if I am still pregnant tomorrow (when I have an appointment with her) and I feel very strongly against induction still, we can discuss going to the weekend. But she also told me that is as far past my due date as she is comfortable letting me go. So, I am hoping and praying that my little baby girl comes on her own in the next day or so. If not, I suppose that I will have to have my hypnobirth with some pitocin thrown in the mix. But at least I will know I did everything in my power to let her come on her own time.
I am so thankful to have such a supportive midwife. She listens to me and is more than willing to do everything in her power to help me have the birth experience I want. I asked her if she was still concerned with my baby's size and she said "Are you concerned about her size?" When I said no, she said "Well, you know your body and you know your baby better than I do. If you aren't concerned, than neither am I." I know from past experiences with my OBGYN's that they would never have treated me this way and given me the option to continue this pregnancy as long as I have. She is a wonderful midwife.
I have also been thinking about how her not being here yet may have been a blessing in disguise. Our family has been pretty sick with the flu for the past 3 weeks. We have staggered the vomiting pretty well as none of us have been sick at the same time. I'm so glad that she hasn't been here while we were dealing with all the sickness going around. She is much safer where she is at. Lily was the last to become sick and she is doing much better now. It is hard to remember, especially when you are so big and pregnant, that we are on God's time and that sometimes we don't know that he is blessing us and when he is testing us. In this case, maybe they were done simultaneously?
Anyway, we are still anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little girl. I will answer the questions EVERYONE keeps asking me.
How do I feel?
-I feel tired of everyone asking me that! I am ginormous and get extremely tired from taking a shower or going to get the mail. It is getting extremely difficult to move around. I have never felt this big and awkward before.
Do I have a name picked out?
-No, we still are unsure of her name. We still love the names Juliet, Alyssa and Katherine (Kate). I sure hope that we know what her name is when we see her.
Why don't you just get induced already?
I know it is a strange concept, but I want a natural un-medicated birth. I'm not crazy! I've done it before and there is nothing like it. It is a wonderful spiritual experience and I don't want to deprive myself of that if possible.
I think those are the top three questions other than strangers asking me "OH my! when are you due?!!" and I say "last week." oh, and also, please do not touch my belly. It is weird and awkward and I just might touch yours back.