I had an interesting experience on Sunday. It was Jake's first time as an "official" child in nursery. I stayed with him for the entire two hours. He did okay, but he kept looking at me for reassurance every few minutes. Anyway, I was watching two little girls playing "house" together holding baby dolls. (they were all just about 3 years old.) One of them said to the other "Okay, You are the sister and I am going to be the mommy!" Immediately, that little girl got a big scowl on her face and started yelling at the "sister" to "stop doing that!, sit down, NO you can't play right now! etc." She sat down and bossed that poor little girl around shouting the entire time. The "sister" looked completely terrified of the "mom" and didn't play with her for very long. It doesn't take a genius to figure out how HER mom acts around her. So I wondered if Tyler were to be "the mom" what would his actions and words be? Well, today I was talking to him and I got my answer. I asked him nicely if he would please get a certain book for Jacob so I could read it to him. Tyler's reply was "I can't right now, I'm too tired, maybe later okay?" I wonder where he got that from?!? I guess I should to be as helpful to him as I would like him to be for me eh? I probably sound like a broken record to him. It is so sad. I am so tired all the time and there is definitely a delay in doing things for him a lot of the time. My goal this week is to try and be the mom that I would want him to "act out". Who knew I could learn something meaningful from spending two hours (when I wanted to be in the adult class) in the nursery. interesting.
13 comments:
Smart boy. But remember they can scent blood in the water and kids can take you down so quick. Do not show weakness or you are doomed. Once they out number you and Randy it is all down hill, they take over and you have to be a strong MOM. My life is ruled by the kids, Zeke yelled at me today because I wanted him home for dinner and he wanted to go to a friends. He yelled "You treat me like a dog." I do rub his belly and tell him "good boy" while I give him a snack after school. Maybe. He did spend a few mins in his room for that comment.
Be strong do not let Randy tell the boys "A cow says Moo and Mommy says No No." This is what David taught them when they were leaning to talk. Sometimes you just have to be the parent and not the best friend. Your children will have many many friends, but they will only have two parents.
It is interesting what we learn by watching our children play. Some bad some good, but you can only do what you can do and be the best you can be, don't be too hard on yourself but remember they are only young for such a short time even though at the time it seems twice as long. Eileen
See, even in nursery you receive inspiration! That's great. The story reminds me of the one I tell about Moms and Dads who always tell their kids, "no" and yell at their kids. Then the parents FREAK OUT when their own kids start screaming and saying "no." What do they expect? Children really do copycat!
I'm sure you'd be proud of Jakey acting like you. You're a great mom.
I bet that little girls mom would be so embarrassed :)...or maybe just sad. I'll have to keep that in mind as Megan grows. One of my friends has this book that talks about ways to discipline without saying "no" all the time, I'll have to check into it.
Don't beat yourself up. I figure that if my kids know that I love them, and if I know that I am doing my best, then that's all I can ask for! We all have weeks (or months) when we are exhausted, cranky, etc., but we are moms...and as many times as I tell Eric and the kids that I AM perfect, I know that I'm not...I'll fool them as long as I can!
Awesome post. I've been thinking about this a lot since Tyler has been talking more. Given I don't swear, but there are other things that just don't sound right when a 2 year old says them. Heather you are a great Mom! Plus, you're pregnant. Don't let the prego-guilt hormones get the best of you. Sometimes it's okay to rest! Cute Tyler...and Jakey is growing up too fast!
You are a great mother. I wouldn't worry too much!
Mom
If you take the time to read some actual researched psychology (not the touchie feelie stuff put out by the popular press) you would learn most of the stuff we do or do not do as parents has very little bearing on the current and future mental health of our children.
Anotherwords, do not worry about it. Your boys are fine and you are doing great.
Except Randy - beards on a Dad will really screw up a kid.
That is hilarious! I can't wait to hear how the week goes.
Also? You're a great mom, even if sometimes you are "too tired"!!
Heatho!!! Alecia called me and told me she found your blog. We both were so excited to find you. Your boys are darling and congrats on baby #3. My wish is that it is twins, however; a dolphin would be pretty interesting.
Anyways- so glad to be in touch with you again. Tell Randy Tylo and I said Hello.
Not to be trite, but that is DEEP. Good luck with your week!
Yeah!!! I just wanted to tell you I sent you an email. I don't know if you are anything like me...one who rarely checks her email. guilty as charged. Anyways...hope to talk to you soon!
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