12 Weeks

I am finally 12 weeks pregnant today. I have been waiting and waiting for my first trimester to pass. Mostly because it has been all kinds of awful. I have a hope, a tiny sliver of hope that my morning sickness will pass. Even if it just got slightly better I would be so grateful.

All my days are spent tying my hardest to get something done and failing. Trying to clean, trying to make meals, trying to avoid letting my children sit and watch Netflix all day long, and failing.

I do, however, succeed at taking a nap every afternoon whether I intend to or not. If I shut my eyes for a second, I am fast asleep, even dreaming.

I have to apologize to the women who have told me in the past how awful being pregnant is because they are so sick. I honestly didn't believe you. I thought you were just whiny and must complain about everything. How could you not appreciate that miracle and make it sound like the most horrible experience in the world? I thought that being pregnant was fun and exciting. You are actually making another human being for crying out loud!! It is amazing and wonderful and there is nothing like it. Now I understand though. It can make your stomach feel like you have the flu every single day for weeks and weeks. I understand that it can truly make you wonder whether or not you made the right decision to have another child. It can have your kids telling everyone they come in contact with "my mom has a baby in her tummy and it makes her too sick to do anything." It can have your son asking you "Are you even happy about this baby Mom?" It makes you disappointed to know that in spite of all your efforts, you can't get ahead. you can't have a clean house, you can't have clean children and you can't work for a moment without feeling like you are going to vomit. I'm so sorry for judging those women. I had no idea that it could actually be this terrible for some people. I'm sorry.

Alright, I've learned my lesson. Can I feel better now?